Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Another family

There was another family that came into the shelter today and hit a little closer to home for me. I am hispanic and relate to hispanics, but I guess I consider myself to be more of european descent. That is just how I have grown up thinking. So a family walked in today, the mother looking young and distressed. There are four kids, with the oldest boy looking about 12 or 13, and the youngest girl being about 2. The mother is also about 7 months pregnant. It really just broke my heart to see them in the shelter. I took them to the cafeteria to get lunch as the mom explained to me how she had taken them all out of school before lunch, and as I reassured her that it was OK, that's why we have a cafeteria. As I looked at the older children, I could tell that they were very aware of the situation their mother was in. The oldest boy seemed quiet and seemed to have a raincloud over his countenance. He probably knows that it is best and safest for the family to be here, but how difficult would it be for your family all of the sudden to move into a shelter? And on top of that, for you to move in because your dad is abusing your mom? Even if you know it's wrong, you still love your dad. So, I served them lunch and tried to be as kind to the family as I possibly could, to make them feel more comfortable. I tried to look into the eyes of the children and laugh with them, hoping that some of the strength of my spirit might be passed on to them. I haven't worked in the crisis shelter for a little while, so I guess I am not used to seeing this all the time anymore. I work with families who have been in the shelter for at least 30 days and are more settled into their new life. The need to follow the family around and protect them from anything and everything that may come their way is not so strong there. I really just wanted to follow each child in order to encourage and support them. These are some terrible years to have as your first, and they will teach them many things those children should not be learning. I want to undo all of those things. I want to fill those childrens' lives with love and security. But all I can do is cry a little bit and share as much love and laughter with them that I can.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Job

I had a few job interview this week down south, and it was a lot of fun. I interviewed at a place that has in-patient care for people with eating disorders. I am so excited about it!! But I also had some good experiences at my current job yesterday. I took some spanish crisis calls yesterday and was able to help one of the women who called. She called twice. The first time she called I began asking her questions and she wouldn't answer. I asked her if she was in a safe place so that she could tell me about the situation she was in and she said no. She told me she would call later, after I offered to call the police for her. When she called later she spoke to me about her life and how her partner was treating her, that he would tell her she wasn't worth even one peso, that she was a slut, that he wouldn't allow her to look up at anyone when she walks out in public yet he brings other women home, that he hits her and calls her lots of bad names I won't repeat, that he yells at her everyday and tells her how ugly and worthless she is. She was crying, and she asked if that was normal. I had the privilege to tell her that it was not. I told her that she has the right to be respected and that her boyfriend should treat her as if she was his closest friend, and that she was important and worth much much more than that. She was still undecided whether she wanted to leave or not, but I was able to give her information to help her out and I was able to reassure her that she did not need to be afraid to leave, that people here would help her and would support her, etc. She calmed down a lot after that and thanked me many times. I LOVE THIS. This isn't a rare type of phone call, we receive calls like this every day, but I LOVE helping these women realize their worth and how beautiful and important they are. I really love working with people who are at hard points in their life, and helping them realize that it will be OK and that someone really cares about them and will do everything to help them get through. I love giving these women encouragement and building them up. There is nothing better, in my opinion. It makes me cry to think of maybe leaving, because I am just so grateful for the opportunity to help these people who need it. But I am also excited to have the opportunity to help women with eating disorders (if I get the position--part-time). The literature says that most women with eating disorders also have depression and anxiety, and thats what I work with at the shelter, too.  I love being able to look into someone's eyes and give them strength, or even cry with them, and it sounds like I would be able to do this even at the eating disorder place. And so, life will go on.